I’m going to try this one more time. One more time to do this and get it right because it is going to be the last time.
I really debated on even blogging about this, again. I’m ashamed of myself. I’ve embarrassed myself. I was so excited back in january when I joined WW and was ready to make some changes, for good. Then I started losing family members and scared Bella was going to need surgery. I was lost. I turned to food. I’ve always turned to food. I am completely sure that I’m an emotional eater but also possibly a food addict. That sounds so strange to me. I’ve never associated food to be an addiction. However, I’ve been learning more about it and more and more I feel like I identify with it.
I can’t keep using the excuses such as “I really don’t eat that much” or “I eat pretty healthy I think”. Hello dummy! Drinking soda all day long then getting fast food five out of seven nights a week isn’t “healthy”. I have a lot to work on. As a side, I haven’t had but one soda, roughly 6 oz, in the last two weeks. I haven’t even wanted one after seriously thinking I have drunk myself fat. So yay me on that, I guess.
After a lot of thinking, obsessing and debating, I got off my couch and joined Weight Watchers for the last time. My meetings are on tuesdays and I’m already wishing it were tuesday again. I’m thinking that I want to do a blog post each week after the meeting. If not for anything but to get it out there in the world publicly. So I will feel I have even more accountability.
I don’t want to be known was the fat girl who kept dieting but lost the battle to food every time.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Yay! I know how hard it is, I fight the temptation every meal. But I’ve lost 24.3kg (over 50lb) since last May and it is SO WORTH IT. If you get stressed go for a walk. Find a simple walking route nearby and use it as your stress reliever. I occasionally remember to pick a walk over eating and it feels so good.
I remember you saying before that you had a reason to stick to it and do it. What a great reason to. I don’t think i fully understood that 9 months ago, now I think I do. It’s awesome.
Congrats! I don’t think you should beat yourself up though. Every little bit and effort counts, and you’re working on taking care of yourself. That deserves lots of positive vibes! Cheering for you!
Thanks, Krista! I know I’m probably harder on myself that I should be. I guess I think of it as I wasn’t hard on myself for the last 32 years and neither has anyone else. So here I am trying to correct 32 years of bad eating habits and I need the pressure. I need the accountability or else it will all just fall to the wayside.